Tell me that you are ok.

Yesterday I walked to Gatewood Park. The walk didnt seem to end. I walked at least 15 milest go get there. It took me a good 2 1/2 hours. When i got there I hiked around the park just taking a little adventure. I walked around the park for a good hour or so. Then i see a sign that says PADDLEBOAT/KAYAK RENTALS. I smiled knowing that Kim had the day off. I text her and she comes down to the park. We go and pay the man for the paddleboat. We get out on the lake and realize this boat is equal to shit and we are just not a good team together. So we slowly make our way to land to get some kayaks. We get the only two kayaks that they have at the little shack by the lake and it begins:

Michael

Kimberly

We were out on the lake for 2 hours. My body is exhausted and burnt. It feels great! I feel rejuvenated. Healthy. Alive. This is what i needed.

Tonight me and Kim went on another adventure to the beautiful Claytor Lake:

Lake

I swear it is the most quiet place on earth. There is so much beauty. I want to inhale it. Keep it for awhile. Exhale it. Give it back to the world.

I guess tomorrow we are going to The Cascades to hike 5 miles to a waterfall.

Loves and misses.


Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen.